[to the children]

ten years, twenty years, gone
[i've learned a little- not too much]
enough
don't listen to them, child, when the voices tell you
that loving isn't worth it
that the tears aren't worth it
< < the heartbreak isn't worth it
you can do so much better > >
the tears are real. no escaping.
your heart is going to break because you love so bad.
keep loving when you don't want to, when it hurts
because they lied- love isn't what you feel
what you see, or how fast your heart beats
love is making lunch
playing chauffeur
[or playing pretend]
love is telling the truth when you don't want to
and being ok with making them mad at you
it's crying with
laughing with
and being there.
it's always giving, and waiting out the storms
sometimes it's more patience than you thought you had. [but The Giver always
gives you more if you ask]

oh, child, the sun is worth the storms.

weather the rain
and lightening
and howling winds. love repays itself.
the sacrifice is worth it. the giving is worth it.
relationships are worth it.
love is worth love; it is its own reward.

I am ok with not being very beautiful, with not having a boyfriend, and with my slight boyish figure. Because life is about love.
[the one that remains. the greatest]

Because I have a little sister. She is probably the most gorgeous person I've ever seen in the whole world, and she writes songs and plays them for me on her piano. She listens to people, even people she doesn't like, and has more patience with friends who treat her badly than I do.

And I have a brother. He is a Major in the airforce, graduated from undergraduate college and flight school, got married to a beautiful girl, and is now going after his Master's. He fixes cars, flies planes, and thoroughly investigates the properties of excellent diamonds before proposing. He is one of the hardest workers I have ever known.

And I have a big sister. The most beautiful sister would probably actually result in a tie. She has red hair and muddy eyes and tattoos. She is strong, and used to be drowning in things I've never experienced. And she is a mother.

And I have a little brother. He has blue eyes, darker than mine. He used to be little, awkward, generally suspected of even greater awkwardness, and maybe a little lonely. Now he is tall and beautiful and one of the best dancers I know. Being the sibling closest to my age, he is my best friend. He is a good listener.

And I have a big brother, my most affectionate sibling, who plays & talks video games, music, films, and grand schemes with me. He and I don't fight even when we disagree.

---

My life is blessed and beautiful.
(=snow, good professors, loving parents, platonic kisses, long, comfortable talks by the fire)