Friday, September 14, 2012
Sunday, December 4, 2011
aspirations
speak more seldom, and to the purpose.
make a list of necessary adventures for the spring.
figure out what i truly want to do on my birthday.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
[not what I need right now]
busy schedule.
important life decisions to ponder.
unpredictably splenetic roommate.
awesome.
important life decisions to ponder.
unpredictably splenetic roommate.
awesome.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Monday, August 8, 2011
love?
“I love you.”
I can’t figure out why that is such an earth-shattering phrase for romantic couples in this culture. Or maybe it’s just in the movies, I don’t know. Or maybe I just lead a very different life and my point of view is askew from the norm. Or maybe the phrase “I love you” just means something different to me than the thousands of couples who utter it gravely, tearfully, at the end of feature films.
See, I’ve got this faith and this religion which teaches me to love all people, and to love all people sincerely. That’s one thing. Additionally, I live a life of frankness and few secrets. I prefer to say what I am thinking if at all possible, because I like other people to do that, and I believe that doing so eliminates a lot of confusion and general human problems.
Love is a verb, to me, as well as just a swelling of human connection and fondness. In some ways perhaps I abuse or overuse the word; for example, C.S. Lewis would disdain my use of “love” in connection with honey mustard dressing. I don’t actually love it, I just find it very tasty. But with people, even people I don’t know too well, I feel OK about using the word “love” liberally. Because a) I am commanded and meant to love them, and b) I just love so many qualities, traits, and things that I get excited when I find them inside of people.
I suppose what I am getting at is more specific: I will not be one of those people who says “I love you” to her fiancé only after they get engaged, or to her boyfriend only after they have been dating for some time. Because I would never get into that sort of relationship with anyone I did not already consider a good, dear, beloved friend. And I tell my good dear beloved friends that I love them, as any of my good, dear, beloved friends can tell you. When they are sweet, or when they do something which makes me laugh, or when I just am thinking of how much I appreciate their friendship, I tell my friends: “I just love you.” Because that’s what life is about, isn’t it?! LOVE.
And so I think the whole thing of the “three little words” can mean different things in different situations. When I say “I love you” to a platonic friend, it might mean the same thing when I, in future, say it to a boyfriend. It doesn’t necessarily have to embody deep, romantic, sexual connotations. In fact, I’m sure most of the time it won’t.
But much later, if I ever get married, instead of saying “I love you” for the first time, I will get to say:
“I love you so much that I want you to be in my life forever. I can handle your quirks, your hang-ups, and your imperfections. I want to fall asleep and wake up next to you, and you are the person who makes me better, makes me love the world more, and makes me want God more.”
Maybe that’s not as brief and epic as saving “I love you” for some vague, romantic moment, accompanied by intense pressure not to say the phrase at the wrong moment. But that is how I work, and how my heart works. One of my chief love languages is Words of Affirmation. And I love so many things and so many people, to me it would be a shame to not say it because my society has a weird hang-up about what those three little words can and should mean.
I can’t figure out why that is such an earth-shattering phrase for romantic couples in this culture. Or maybe it’s just in the movies, I don’t know. Or maybe I just lead a very different life and my point of view is askew from the norm. Or maybe the phrase “I love you” just means something different to me than the thousands of couples who utter it gravely, tearfully, at the end of feature films.
See, I’ve got this faith and this religion which teaches me to love all people, and to love all people sincerely. That’s one thing. Additionally, I live a life of frankness and few secrets. I prefer to say what I am thinking if at all possible, because I like other people to do that, and I believe that doing so eliminates a lot of confusion and general human problems.
Love is a verb, to me, as well as just a swelling of human connection and fondness. In some ways perhaps I abuse or overuse the word; for example, C.S. Lewis would disdain my use of “love” in connection with honey mustard dressing. I don’t actually love it, I just find it very tasty. But with people, even people I don’t know too well, I feel OK about using the word “love” liberally. Because a) I am commanded and meant to love them, and b) I just love so many qualities, traits, and things that I get excited when I find them inside of people.
I suppose what I am getting at is more specific: I will not be one of those people who says “I love you” to her fiancé only after they get engaged, or to her boyfriend only after they have been dating for some time. Because I would never get into that sort of relationship with anyone I did not already consider a good, dear, beloved friend. And I tell my good dear beloved friends that I love them, as any of my good, dear, beloved friends can tell you. When they are sweet, or when they do something which makes me laugh, or when I just am thinking of how much I appreciate their friendship, I tell my friends: “I just love you.” Because that’s what life is about, isn’t it?! LOVE.
And so I think the whole thing of the “three little words” can mean different things in different situations. When I say “I love you” to a platonic friend, it might mean the same thing when I, in future, say it to a boyfriend. It doesn’t necessarily have to embody deep, romantic, sexual connotations. In fact, I’m sure most of the time it won’t.
But much later, if I ever get married, instead of saying “I love you” for the first time, I will get to say:
“I love you so much that I want you to be in my life forever. I can handle your quirks, your hang-ups, and your imperfections. I want to fall asleep and wake up next to you, and you are the person who makes me better, makes me love the world more, and makes me want God more.”
Maybe that’s not as brief and epic as saving “I love you” for some vague, romantic moment, accompanied by intense pressure not to say the phrase at the wrong moment. But that is how I work, and how my heart works. One of my chief love languages is Words of Affirmation. And I love so many things and so many people, to me it would be a shame to not say it because my society has a weird hang-up about what those three little words can and should mean.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
6/20/11
What does it mean to be grown-up?
How do you know when you're there? Is it directing a play? Directing two plays? How about two at once? Is it learning to grocery shop? Enjoying a salad in the evening along with a gently spiked glass of lemonade? Is it falling in love?
Perhaps it is when you stop identifying with the young people. (Or start identifying with the old people) Perhaps it is recognising how terribly sad and gorgeous is the tale of Peter Pan. Is it learning to say 'yes' or learning to say 'no?'
Or does being grown-up lie in not being one? In looking outward and letting the inward work itself out? Does it hinge on appearances or necessitate the unimportance of appearances? Does it mean not needing - or admitting how much you need?
How do you know when you're there? Is it directing a play? Directing two plays? How about two at once? Is it learning to grocery shop? Enjoying a salad in the evening along with a gently spiked glass of lemonade? Is it falling in love?
Perhaps it is when you stop identifying with the young people. (Or start identifying with the old people) Perhaps it is recognising how terribly sad and gorgeous is the tale of Peter Pan. Is it learning to say 'yes' or learning to say 'no?'
Or does being grown-up lie in not being one? In looking outward and letting the inward work itself out? Does it hinge on appearances or necessitate the unimportance of appearances? Does it mean not needing - or admitting how much you need?
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
uncharted territory
this has been such an interesting summer.
i have been getting into so many things i've never done before.
and i think i have no idea what i'm doing.
but i'm ok with that.
"Yet, He that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail..."
i have been getting into so many things i've never done before.
and i think i have no idea what i'm doing.
but i'm ok with that.
"Yet, He that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail..."
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